last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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