she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
