Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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