so explain again why im purple
no
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
