My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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