i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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