he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I am never drinking with the goths again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
