This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
