Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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