Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
