the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
