Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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