i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
