Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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