today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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