Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
