In the future we'll all be gay
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize