i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
