i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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