You're a womanizer and a bitch.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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