they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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