dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
