tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Found the puke drawer
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We need to get me chipped asap