There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.