we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
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Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
How many fucks given?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.