Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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