he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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