If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
