i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
