So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
