The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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