left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
