Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
