You're completely useless in the revolution.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize