Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize