I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
