Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize