she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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