Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?

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(310): View more from California

When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth

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(619): View more from California

Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem

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(410): View more from Maryland

Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.

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(334): View more from Alabama

this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him

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(818): View more from California

I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far

(818): View more from California

Her name is susan

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