I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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