So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
