guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
