one two three fourrrrnication!
are you so shy because you have an std?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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