So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
