He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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