id be glad to
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
