god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
