ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
