I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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