we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
