At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
