No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
