So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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