Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
