my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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