yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
