im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
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Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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