Having a random hookup so left but love u
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
