I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize