omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
