He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
