I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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