Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
