i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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