Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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