Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize