It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
