Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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