i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
