In America we eat man semen.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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