Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
